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Darth Cartman
Darth Cartman was a sith lord, and the leader of the planet destruction team South Park. He was one of the most evil Sith Lords in the galaxy, and definitely the one with the foulest mouth too. Biography Early Life Darth Cartman was born one cold morning on Hoth, while his parents were vacationing in an igloo. The first thing he said was the forbidden word "Penis." His parents immediately put duct tape on his mouth. He didn't take it too well, and threw killer snowballs at them, killing them instantly. Now orphaned, Darth Cartman had to fend for himself out in the cold wilderness. Fortunately, with great power came great fortitude, and he ended up surviving out on Hoth for years to come. He later met three fellow Siths, known as Kyle, Stan, and Kenny McCormick respectively, one of which would become his future apprentice. They enjoyed pestering Eskimos and other species native to the planet. Suffice to say they got along pretty well. They also hunted Wampas for sport, who ended up treating them as predators and not prey. Forming South Park One day Cartman was annoyed when his favorite planet, Tatooine, was obscured by another planet, therefore blocking his view. He was so angry he decided to blow up the planet. Getting some of his childhood worthless slaves friends to help him, he succeeded in blowing up the planet, which was pretty easy to do so, since it was a great ball of gas...and therefore easily ignitable. He said that they were so good at their job they could make a profit out of it, and celebrating by throwing one of his many swearing fits, much to the ear rape of his evil minions. And thus the planet destruction team South Park was born. Destruction of the Planet Moltara Darth Cartman always hated warm climates, due to him being at Hoth most of the time in his life, and thus decided to blow up Moltara, a planet similar to Mustafar in climate. Problem is, bombs wouldn't be very effective against it. So he used a giant water hose to harden all the lava. It worked well, and Darth Cartman was easily able to destroy it, due to the fact that the Moltarians did not care about their planet whatsoever and were suicidal anyways. Being Trained by Darth Chef Darth Chef took Cartman as his apprentice following the demise of his previous apprentice, Darth Fat Guy. However, he started to regret it before long. The little kid simply wouldn't stop swearing. Fortunately, Darth Cartman was a fast learner. He learned everything that Darth Chef taught him, such as throwing killer burritos at his enemies. Not long afterwards, Darth Cartman decided to train an apprentice himself. Darth Cartman's Apprentice Darth Cartman took his fellow planet destruction team member Kenny McCormick as his apprentice, due to the fact that in a sense, he could not die. After several weeks of killing training him, Darth Cartman then promoted him to second-in-command of the group. However, things started to go wrong for South Park afterwards. Death of an Apprentice Following Darth Elmo's attempted genocide on Twi'leks, Kenny decided to attempt to kill Darth Elmo due to his love of Twi-lek porn, which was a lesson in futility. He marched over to his hideout, which was a fatal mistake. Kenny McCormick was wookiee-nookied by Sesame Street so hard that he was unable to return to life. Darth Cartman decided not to train another apprentice, as he felt it was a waste of time and energy. Death Not long after, Hoth came across a critical problem: global warming. Before long the polar ice caps started to melt. Darth Cartman died when the ice underneath him suddenly cracked, causing him to fall into the water and drown. Of course, since he was so fat, he wasn't a great swimmer, but even if he was he was too heavy to float anyway.... Stan and Kyle mourned their leader, and decided to rename South Park the South Baptist Church. However, the planet destruction team didn't function well with the absence of Cartman and Kenny, and it eventually was disbanded after Stan and Kyle blew themselves up with one of their homemade explosives by accident. South Park was finally gone forever, although this wasn't much of a victory due to the fact that there are a gazillion planet destruction teams out there.... Powers and Abilities Darth Cartman was a master of cryokinesis, and could bombard his enemies with a string of profanity. He was also a master of Force Lightning, although he didn't really use it that much. He would practice using his powers by constantly killing his apprentice, Kenny, who was always reincarnated due to his unique force abilities. Category:Ways to die Category:Assholes Category:Cartoons Category:Fat people Category:Fat pieces of shit Category:Sith Lords Category:People with messed up childhoods Category:Reasons planets are destroyed Category:Evil Category:Planet destruction teams